After she met Christina, Gabrielle made herself a promise. “Two weeks,” she told herself—and me, though she did not know it. “Two weeks from now I’ll see where we are, and if we’re still interested in each other then, I’ll make it official.”
And so the two-week mark has passed, and the time for a very big decision has come. Gabrielle knew it the moment she opened her eyes this morning and reached for her phone to find another text from Christina.
The two of them have formed a connection more quickly and easily than any other couple I have worked with. It is true that they are well-suited to one another—Christina’s easygoing, wry spirit is a good match for Gabrielle’s restlessness and adventure-seeking. They have much in common, and they are both ready for a stable, committed relationship. But I worry a bit whether it is simply the rush of admitting the truth of her own preferences to herself that makes Gabrielle so besotted. For that reason, I have tried to restrain the breakneck progress of the relationship a bit.
But this specific relationship was not what concerned Gabrielle today. After reading and responding to Christina’s text—and the next four that followed—she set her phone aside and stared up at the ceiling, thinking about who she is and what she wants from her life.
I stood next to her, watching her thoughts. There is now no longer even the thinnest veneer between herself and the truth—she knows what she is, and though there is still a kernel of shame in her heart about it, it is very close to being stamped out. I am doing all I can to help with the stamping.
The only obstacle to speaking the truth aloud has been her fear of the reactions of others. Her parents, of course, have been the primary worry, but also other members of her family, certain friends, and especially Nick have been giving her concern. At the thought of telling them all what she truly feels, her heart went cold, and she imagined them laughing, scolding and preaching, or even cutting her out of their lives.
“But you have been so happy with Christina,” I reminded her. “And you deserve that happiness. You deserve for people to see you as you truly are.”
Gabrielle smiled at the mention of Christina. More significant, though, was the peace she felt at the thought of being able to introduce her girlfriend to her friends and family.
With characteristic suddenness, she sat up and seized her phone. She started with an easy one.
Hey, she texted Victoria. So I’m gay.
She had time to send the same text to a few more people—all friends her age, who she was fairly certain already knew—by the time Victoria texted back.
Okay, was all Victoria said, and a moment later, Thanks for telling me. But she sent a little picture of a heart as well, and it warmed Gabrielle and strengthened her for the task.
So she spent much of the morning texting and emailing everyone she could think of. She changed the message to suit the audience—her note to her parents was the most carefully thought out—but all of them were brief and to the point: This is who I am. I was proud of her.
Then she got up and got ready for work.
It was a good thing that her shift was brief today, for she was distracted the whole time. Every time her phone chimed, she jumped for it, looking to see the reactions.
Most of them were positive. A few of her friends informed her kindly that they had already known this, but one or two was surprised. But all of the responses from people her age were positive. Her cousin Ashley texted back with half a dozen questions and ended by offering to set Gabrielle up with a friend of a friend.
Nick did not answer.
Responses from her family were slower to come. I left Gabrielle for a while to check in with her parents—Ellie burst into tears on reading the note, and they were not tears of happiness.
Gary’s response was worse. He received her email while he was at work and immediately stopped what he was doing to reply. You know that this is a sin and a false path for you. If you stay on it, it will take you straight to hell.
I hurried back to Gabrielle so that she would not have to read those words alone. They were nothing but what she had expected from her father, but still they hurt her.
What did surprise her, and moreover provided more comfort than I could have given her, was her uncle’s response. She had been unsure of Brent, who had been raised in the same conservative environment as his brother, but the note from him was unmistakably supportive. It’s 2019, hon, he wrote. You can love who you want. And I’ll tell your dad that as many times as it takes him to hear it.
Gabrielle cried when she read that, and they were tears of happiness. She also got a call from her Aunt Kayla, who washed her with love and support—“we will always love you, honey, no matter what, and we just can’t wait to meet your girlfriend”—and wanted to know all the details of her new relationship.
All in all, the great reveal went much better than Gabrielle had expected. Nick’s silence and her parents’ obvious disapproval are heavy weights for her, but she still felt like she was floating most of the day. It was not only the support that made her feel this way, either, but the relief she didn’t know she would feel at telling the truth. She is now more herself than she has ever been before, and what a comfort that is!
So a good day’s work. It will mean, of course, that there will be more work for me in the days ahead, but I am ready. I think that it will get better from here.