I have spent a great deal of time with Freya in the past few days, both trying to alter her attitude towards Alysse and to learn more about Alysse herself. Neither task has been easy. Freya has learned that her first impression of people is usually right, so it is hard to shake her from this one. Likewise, Alysse keeps much of herself close to herself, and even an angel finds it hard to get through to her. But this is what I have learned.
Alysse has had nothing easy in her life. Her family was (and remains) dysfunctional, and she has often had to be the one to pull them through difficult times. She has had other hardships, which remain indistinct to me despite all my probing. All this together with a natural anxiety has hardened her, and I get the sense that her practicality has been pulled to such an extreme that she rejects out of hand anything that is impractical. I think that she can tell, on a subconscious level, the depth of Freya’s spirit, and it frightens her.
But there is something else as well. I have the impression that Alysse once knew someone like Freya—charismatic, cheerful, and beautiful—and was betrayed by this person. Hence her guardedness with Freya. Alysse knows that the two women are different, and yet due to her experience she finds it hard to believe that Freya is genuine.
All this means there is very little that Freya can do to improve the situation, except continue to be patient and kind. I would do what I could to influence Alysse, but she herself is unaware of the reasons behind her instant dislike of Freya. What makes it more difficult is that she is defensive by nature, and not inclined to self-reflection.
If I could solve every problem for my charges, I would! But I will certainly do all that I can for Freya. Patience will be easier for her if I remind her that her self-worth does not depend on anyone’s uneducated opinion. I know her better than anyone does, and I love her best of all my charges for it. And if she can feel that love, the spite of a stranger will hurt her less.