Given that Freya lost ten hours of sleep in three days earlier this week, I have insisted on a bit more balance in her life again. Currently she is out with Kara for the first time in a while, and Ananiah is with her.
Freya was offended when I originally presented this idea. “You’re my Guardian, and now you’re handing me off to someone else?”
I am getting better at making my feelings known to her, and she is getting better at recognizing them, so she knew that I was glaring at her.
Freya, if I were a human friend, you would know that you were giving me too much of your time. It’s not healthy.
“But you’re not a human friend. Fuck, Ace, it’s not every day a girl gets an inside line to the whole universe.”
And that’s another thing. The whole point of the restriction against showing myself to you was to make certain you learn all of this gradually, so that it doesn’t overwhelm you. I would not call the speed we’ve been going to be a “gradual” pace.
She groaned and rubbed her eyes. She knew I was right, which made her contrary. “I just want to know. I want to know everything. Is there anything so wrong in that?”
Of course not, but we have time, Freya. And I don’t want to take away from the life that you have now.
“Oh, we have time, he says,” she grumbled, leaning back against the wall. “Don’t forget that I may not have a life at all if Asoharith finds me.”
My heart faltered, and Freya shivered. It took a moment for me to regain my composure enough to write,
Please don’t even think such things.
She sighed and held out a hand into the air where she thought I was, in apology. I moved to make her correct and added another line to the screen.
And please don’t say her name. I should never have told it to you.
“I can come up with a nickname for her, too,” she suggested, trying to cheer me up. “Ass-hair? Seems appropriate.”
It made me laugh, though I couldn’t help but think of how very angry it would make Asoharith to be mocked in this way. But then, if anger makes her careless, then perhaps mocking her is wise.
Freya, you only have one life on this earth. We each of us only get one chance to enjoy the masterpiece that is creation. I would hate to think that I had taken that joy away from you.
She stared at those lines for a moment after she’d finished reading them. Then she said flatly, “Do you know how hard it is to argue with someone who says such sweet things to me?”
I am learning, of course.
“And what really bites,” she added, getting to her feet, “is that you’re not even trying to manipulate me. You really mean it.”
I would never.
“Hmm,” she said skeptically. “Yeah, we’ll just talk about some of the things you did as a Cupid some other time, then. Maybe then you can explain how your definition of ‘manipulate’ differs from mine.”
I would have reassured her that whatever I did was never against her own inclination or choice, but she had walked away from the computer to start digging in her closet. Then, although I’d assured her days ago that her body is her own and I would never abuse the privilege of being in her presence, she pointedly closed the computer and took it out onto the landing.
Before she left, though, she opened it up again, and we settled on a sort of schedule. Every evening, we will talk for an hour before she goes to sleep, and she will set a timer to be sure we keep to that. On the weekends we will take that time during the day, so that I can spend my nights on the hunt for Asoharith.
“And I won’t be alone?” she pressed before she left.
I reassured her and gave her a little push—she was already late, and Kara is not a patient woman.
“And these other Guardians—they’re as good as you are?”
Many of them are better. They are certainly more experienced than I am. You’re perfectly safe in their company.
She studied this, then shook her head and closed the computer. “Maybe,” she says. “But I feel better with my angel.” Then she winked at me and left the house, and I have felt warm ever since.