I was with Pamela this evening as she dealt with a confrontation she has been dreading for several weeks. She has been conscious of the growing affection felt for her by her friend Andrew, and she has done her best to derail it—mentioning dates with other men to him (even some that never happened) or talking about some of the things that she seeks in a man, none of which can be seen in him. I, too, have done what I could to discourage his hopes, knowing them to be fruitless. I did not want Pamela to lose such a good friend as he. But none of it was quite enough.
Andrew was visiting Pamela with Diana when the latter was called away to work unexpectedly. Despite subtle discouragement from both women, Andrew elected to stay, leaving him alone with Pamela for the first time in quite a while. She plunged into descriptions of her trip to London, now looming close, and her excitement was quite unfeigned.
Andrew dampened that excitement completely, however, when he said, “Maybe you and I could get a drink after you get back. You can tell me all about it.”
She glanced at him, afraid to even hold his gaze in case he read something in the look. “Of course. We can all meet up at—”
“No, I mean—” Andrew cleared his throat. “I mean, just you and me.”
And there it was. Pamela felt a flash of panic, and then an equally quick rush of irritation. “Are you seriously doing this now?”
Her tone put him on the defensive, and he pushed to his feet, walking away to the window. “It was just a suggestion. If you hate the idea that much—”
“No, Andrew—” She got that far before I stopped her. I urged her not to leave him with false hope, that to hurt him now would not be as bad as to let this continue only to hurt him later. Pamela took a deep breath and said, “Andrew, I’d love to have a drink with you when I get home and tell you all about it. But only if you know it’d be as just friends.”
Andrew smiled, and it was one of the first times I had seen someone express their hurt with that expression. He turned around and leaned against the windowsill, his arms folded over his chest. “Not your type, I know.”
“Look, if I thought it would work, I’d love to—”
“Pam, you don’t have to baby me,” Andrew said, stopping her. “I’m not one of those guys who’s going to bitch about ending up in the friendzone. I just thought—” He shrugged. “That maybe we could give it a shot.”
She crossed the room and set a hand on his shoulder. “If you were one of those guys, we wouldn’t even be friends,” she told him, making him laugh a little. “Seriously. I would not be able to stand you. But instead I’m so scared of messing up what we have right now, that I don’t want to change anything. Does that make sense?”
He nodded, but it took him a moment before he could speak. “I figured that was how it would be. That’s why I did it now, see—because I’ll use the time while you’re gone to get over it, and everything will be cool again when you get back.”
She hugged him, and for a moment there was more between them than just friendship. Not romance, not really, but a more powerful connection, a sweeter one.
“I don’t deserve a guy as good as you,” she whispered.
“Please,” he scoffed, stepping back. “That is insulting. No woman I have wasted this much energy on says crap like that about herself. Get ahold of yourself.”
She laughed and wiped her eyes. “You’re right. We will both find ourselves an awesome person, and then we will both give those people hell to make sure they are good enough for us.”
They then spent a while imagining what their future partners might be like—and you may be sure that I took note, and not only for Pamela. Andrew is a good man, and if I might find myself able to help him, I certainly will. But it must be said that the visit did not last as long as it might have, and both of them went to bed feeling rather dejected.
That, unfortunately, is the way of the world, and we Cupids must know how to cope with it. I was lucky in that both Andrew and Pamela were mature and accepting. It may not be the case in the future, with different charges. I only hope that if that time comes, I can help my charges bear the pain with as much grace and kindness as Andrew showed.