I managed to convince Pamela not to make the call to Stephanie. I believed, and Danit agreed with me, that direct contact between these two women would make them enemies, and this would be no help to Pamela’s current state of mind.
So I was anxious, today, when during Pamela’s planning period, she was informed by the office that she had a visitor. Somehow I knew precisely who it would be.
Stephanie Morrell is a thin woman—that was my first thought on seeing her, that she had lost much weight in recent weeks, and maybe she has lost more than that. My second thought was that she knew the truth, and a look at her aura confirmed it. It was strained, as if she has been pulled in all different directions, and there were the echoes of hurt and anger in it, tempestuous emotions that tore through her with all the violence of a storm. But those emotions were gone, and all that remained was weariness and resignation, evident in both her aura and her drawn face and shadowed eyes.
I was filled with so much sympathy for her pain that even as Pamela was coming into the room, puzzled by the sight of a strange face, I flew to Stephanie’s side and wrapped my wings around her. I had no words, no wisdom to offer, but I gave her all of the love that I had. She caught her breath, and for a moment the weight lifted off of her, and she smiled. She is beautiful, after all.
“You must be Pamela,” she said. “My name is Stephanie. May I—can we talk?”
Pamela’s throat tightened, and I returned to her side. With my wing around her shoulders, she managed to reply politely and led Stephanie back to the empty classroom.
A quick word to Mrs. Kohn indicated the seriousness of the situation to that kind woman, and she disappeared down to the teachers’ lounge. Pamela closed the door behind her and turned to look at Stephanie, wary and curious.
Stephanie smiled wryly. “I’m not here to attack you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she said. “No hair-pulling or screaming, I promise.”
Some of the tension went out of Pamela’s shoulders, and she laughed, but her stomach was still turning. “I wouldn’t really blame you if you did.”
Stephanie angled her head. She is older than Pamela by a few years, and there is a quietness to her that lends her patience and kindness. “No,” she said. “If I were going to pull anyone’s hair, it’d be my husband’s.” She took a firmer grip on her purse in front of her. “Unless you did know that he was married?”
“No!” Pamela insisted. “If I had—I would never have done that to you. I swear.”
Examining Pamela’s face, Stephanie could see that she was telling the truth. She relaxed a bit. “Daniel said so, but I wasn’t sure if I could believe him. Thank you for that, and for ending it when you found out.”
Pamela exhaled. “So he did tell you.” She was glad, and a part of it was because she had not liked thinking of Daniel as weak. She suppressed that thought and took a step toward Stephanie. “Are you all right?”
Stephanie laughed at that. It would seem to be a common defense of humans: to find humor in that which pains them makes the pain a tiny bit easier to bear. “You know, I was so afraid that it was going to happen, for the longest time,” she said. She set down her purse and sank into one of the students’ desks. “I thought it would be better if it just did and then we could be done. But it’s not.” She put her head into her hand.
Pamela came to sit in the desk across from Stephanie’s, leaning forward urgently. “I promise you it’s over between me and him,” she said. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
Stephanie looked up. “I don’t worry about you,” she said. “I worry about him. And I’m not convinced he’ll give up on you.” She clasped her hands together on the desk. “Look—I want to save my marriage, if I can. I think that there’s a chance. Daniel says he’s going to try. But as long as the two of you are working together, it won’t work.”
Pamela leaned back, frowning. “So, what? You’re having him leave his job?” Her heart lifted in hope that she could come to work and not have to dread seeing Daniel.
Stephanie grimaced. “Well—he loves it here,” she explained, “and he’s been here for a while now.” She looked away from Pamela and took a deep breath.
“I see.” Pamela’s voice was flat. “You want me to leave.” I could see indignation and resentment clouding in her aura.
“You can get another assignment, can’t you? It would be easier than Daniel getting a new job.”
“This wasn’t my fault,” Pamela protested.
“No, I know, but—you were willing to help me before.” Stephanie looked up pleadingly at Pamela. “I was hoping that you would want to stay away from him.”
“I do, but not at the expense of my job!” Pamela pushed to her feet and walked away. She looked around at the desks she had carefully arranged, the lesson plans she had written with Mrs. Kohn. In her mind were the faces of her students, who were just coming to know and trust her. She did not want to leave them when they needed her.
It was this that decided me. My first inclination was to agree with Stephanie’s request—Pamela would be happier, after all, working in a place that did not hold temptation or anxiety. But when she felt some of the same care and protectiveness that I feel for her, I could no longer argue.
“Be kind, then,” I said to her, “but be strong. You are not in the wrong here.”
She took a breath and turned back to face Stephanie. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I promise you that I will not do anything to encourage your husband. But this isn’t on me. He’s the one who has the problem, and it’s none of my concern. So I’m not going anywhere.”
Stephanie got to her feet. “Please,” she said, tears in her eyes. “This is my marriage.”
Pamela wavered for a moment, but steadied when I stepped closer to her side. “And it’s none of my business,” she said.
Stephanie’s jaw tightened. An angry retort was building in her mind, but I went to her to soothe it away. “You don’t need to be afraid,” I told her, because I could see that—she loves Daniel, and she is afraid of losing him. “You can do this. You are strong enough.”
She did not really believe me, but it was enough that she could restrain her anger. “Well,” she said, “then I’ll just have to keep my eyes open.” She said a stiff goodbye to Pamela and left without looking back.
When she was gone, Pamela sank into the desk and began to cry. I held her, wishing she could be more aware of my presence. “It will be all right,” I told her. “I will make sure that you are happy again. I will find someone who deserves you, and I will teach him how to love you.”
I do not think she would have believed me if she had heard, but it is the truth. I will make it so.