Temptation is a strange and powerful thing. This world is full of pleasures, and that is good, because it was made to be a pleasant and happy place. But sometimes indulging one pleasure leads to the destruction of another, greater one. We angels do not see reason in this because we know what is best, thanks to the teaching of the Father’s Will. Humans have forgotten this, and they must judge for themselves what is most important and what will bring them the most happiness. Sometimes, they choose wrong.
I regret to tell you that temptation has come to another one of my charges. Not Pamela this time, but Brooke has had to bear with its calling.
She has been doing well, getting good work done for her study, and keeping her connection to Morgan alive. Sometimes, however, she will sink into black moods, full of despair, and though I have often been there to lift her out of these moods, I have never really been able to discover what causes them. I knew it had something to do with Morgan, but it was not the same as missing her. Well, now I understand.
One of the young women on Brooke’s team, Erin, has become a close friend of hers. Brooke will often spend time with her in the evenings after their work is done and before she excuses herself to contact Morgan. Erin has taught Brooke how to play chess, and the two of them will talk over their games. It has all been very innocent, until tonight.
“So how’s Morgan?” Erin asked, moving her knight from behind a pawn. “Have you talked to her yet?”
Brooke smiled, as she often does at the mention of Morgan’s name, but this smile was wistful. “No, not yet.”
Erin had also noticed the wistfulness. “Trouble in paradise?”
Brooke tapped the head of her bishop, but her mind was not on the game. “No, nothing major. I’m just…” She trailed off and shook her head, changing her mind about speaking about it.
I was curious and concerned by this point, and it had occurred to me that I might learn about the truth of Brooke’s feelings through this conversation. So I encouraged Erin to ask more and Brooke to speak, little knowing where this would lead.
“Come on, something’s going on,” Erin said.
Brooke sighed. “Maybe I’m crazy,” she said at last. “But I can’t shake the feeling that this won’t work out.”
Erin was silent. She waited for Brooke to say more, and eventually Brooke did.
“I mean, we’ve been friends forever, and I’ve been in love with her almost as long. When we got together, I thought that it was too good to be true. Now I’m starting to think that it is.”
Erin looked down at the chessboard, then got up and moved around the table to sit beside Brooke. “What makes you think that?” she asked gently.
Brooke put her hands over her face. “I don’t know,” she moaned, and there was enough sorrow in her voice that I moved close enough to put my wing around her. “I wish I did. I just—I just feel like I’m losing her.”
In her aura then, I saw what the trouble was. Brooke has been so accustomed to unrequited love that the joy of having her feelings returned was like a dream. Now to be separated from Morgan makes it seem all the more unreal, and she has begun to doubt that they will remain connected.
She pushed her hair out of her face and laughed. “I mean, who am I kidding? Nobody in real life gets the fairy tale like this. There’s no such thing as a one true love.”
“But there is,” I whispered, tightening my grip on her. “Have faith in yourself, Brooke. You are truly and deeply loved, and there is no need to fear.”
Brooke shook her head, her spirit resisting my influence. “I just—I just found it so hard to believe that she loved me when I was there. Now I’ve left her, and—” She groaned and pressed her hands to her face. “God, have I made the biggest mistake of my life?”
I was not prepared for what happened next. I was so ashamed of myself that I had not seen Brooke’s lack of self-esteem in this, and so focused on what she was feeling, that I did not see what Erin was feeling. So I was utterly astonished when she leaned forward, took Brooke’s hand, and kissed her on the mouth.
Brooke was astonished too. She sat very still, her mind absorbing only the pressure of Erin’s chapped lips—Morgan keeps hers very smooth and soft. She could smell Erin’s hair, too, dark like Morgan’s, but with an entirely different texture and style. It was so different from what she was used to, but she couldn’t deny that it was a nice feeling.
This thought jolted me out of my shock, but before I could do anything Erin pulled away, her dark eyes meeting Brooke’s. She ran one hand over Brooke’s cheek.
“Please don’t doubt,” she said in a low voice, “that you are worthy of love. That you are loved.”
Then she let go of Brooke’s hand and got to her feet, leaving the room.
I am not sure what to do with this. I do not think that Brooke will be convinced to turn away from Morgan, but she is in a delicate position right now. It may be very tempting for her to spend time with someone who does love her, who is close by and whose affection does not carry the weight of many years of yearning in uncertainty.
Then again, knowing that more than just Morgan has an interest in her could be healing to her self-doubt.
I will be keeping a close watch on this, of course. When I know more, so will you.