Though I have not written of her, I have spent a great deal of time with Shannon in the past few weeks, ever since Danit warned me to have a care with her. She has been very busy, helping Jace to prepare for the exhibit, which involves preparing prints of the artworks and ways to put them up, deciding how they will be arranged, creating advertisements for the exhibit, and many other things. She is even trying to get permission for one or more of her artists to paint something on the walls of the courtyard, with the understanding that it will be painted over again after the exhibit.
Despite all this busyness, she is still finding time to see Oliver. They have become friends, and while Shannon still does not quite think of him in a romantic light, she is drawn to him, to his kindness and his humor. Oliver in turn admires her, but he is also cautious. He can see some of her faults, and he is aware that these may not make her a very suitable girlfriend. He has decided he will not make a move on her unless he is sure that she is willing to make an effort for the relationship. So the choice is hers.
I wondered for a time if that was all the crucial moment might be—perhaps Oliver is the partner who was always meant to be with her, and if she loses him, she will never find true love. But the connection between them is not that clear. I think rather that Shannon is like Freya in that there are only a few people out there who could make it work with her, and it will not happen even with those people unless both partners are willing to put in the work.
There is the difficulty with Shannon. She is not a hard worker; indeed, sometimes it is only her pride that keeps her from giving up on the exhibit, for if she bows out now it will look bad to her superiors. She likes for things to come easily and to be just right.
It has been hard to tell, for she tries not to think about it, but I think that was the problem that she had with Alex. He had loved her for a long time, enough to overlook her flaws, and while she did love him, too, their relationship was more based on the pleasure she took from his love for her. When he began to be more demanding, at least as she saw it, she ended the relationship. She was too proud to admit that he deserved more respect from her, and she was afraid that if she did try to change, she would fail and he would leave her. So she left him first.
I think her pride is at the very center of all this. That is what broke her apart from Mark, and her disastrous relationship with Thomas only made it worse. My task, then, is to help her to find something that is more satisfying to her than her own pride.
The exhibit is the key, more than Oliver, even. He will help her, I think, but if I can get her to see the true meaning of the exhibit—the transient nature of art, the ways it can be used to inspire people, the ways people can use it to express themselves—it may do precisely what I wish. It is delicate, however, because the same success of the event could fan her pride into a flame from which I could never save her.
Wish me luck, my brothers and sisters, for I will need it, and because Shannon deserves it. I want her to be happy, and if I can I will make it so.