Two of my charges had heavy hearts this weekend. At least I was able to help one of them. Somehow I find that little comfort.
Today was the day for Elaine to come to the lake, and Ted was excited to see her—he had been planning out where to take her along the lake, what to show her and what to tell her. But only a few hours before she was supposed to arrive, she called to tell him she couldn’t make it.
“I feel just terrible,” she said, “but Miranda got sick and she needed someone to cover for her, and she called me and she was crying because she said she was going to get a citation if she missed again without finding a cover, so—”
“Don’t worry about it,” Ted said, holding up his hand even though Elaine could not see him. “You go do what you have to do. The lake will still be here another time.”
“Good, because I definitely still want to come! So listen, I have to go, but I’ll call you again tomorrow, okay?”
“Sure,” Ted said cheerfully, but as soon as she hung up, his smile dropped from his face and he dropped onto the sofa.
“It is a good thing that she is kind to others,” I said to him, but I must admit, my heart was not in the reassurance. I was remembering Freya, in fact, how her kindness to others had divided her from the men in her life when I first met her. And it is true, humans do want to hold a certain priority in the heart of others. Ted especially is prone to this, and his confidence was hurt.
Fortunately, I reminded him later that evening of Cole. I did not want Cole to be a second choice in his mind, so I had hesitated, but it was apparent that I was having little influence over his unhappiness, so I turned his attention to someone else.
“Well, well,” Cole said when he answered the phone, and the warmth in just those two words lifted Ted’s heart almost immediately. “He calls, does he?”
“Very occasionally,” Ted says. “Do you hate me?”
“How could I? We had a lovely evening, and then you went off home several hours away. I never expected anything more. Still, it’s nice to hear your voice.”
“Yours, too,” Ted answered, taking a seat at his kitchen table. “I had something of a disappointment, so I needed cheering up.”
“Seems like I’m good at that. Hang on a minute, let me a get a beer, and then we’ll get to work.”
That made Ted laugh, and he got up and went to the refrigerator to do the same.
“Okay, I’m ready. Lay your troubles at my door.”
And Ted did. At first he was a bit awkward, worried that Cole would be offended that he was talking about seeing someone else. (In fact, that awkwardness pleased me—it means he has considered Cole in the light of a relationship.) But Cole was tranquil about it, offering good advice, and so soon they were talking comfortably.
“I say don’t jump to conclusions just yet,” Cole told him. “You’ve met this woman what, once? Give her a chance. I know it can be tempting to jump ship at the first hint of disappointment, but that’s not fair to you or her.”
Ted sighed, though he was smiling. “Good advice, though not the easiest thing.”
“Well, if love were easy, classic literature would be a lot less interesting.”
The conversation went on from there, but I saw that they did not really need me anymore, so I left them to it. At least now the two of them can truly call themselves friends, and the lines of communication will remain open. I could not ask for much more.
I went then to my other struggling charge, Shannon, who has spent much of her Saturday in a funk, torturing herself by remembering Alex and comparing Oliver to him. She was wondering if she would be better off just to end things now, to “jump ship” as Cole said.
“But you did that with Alex, and it didn’t work, did it?” I whispered to her. “You still hurt about him to this day.”
That only made her think that it would have hurt worse if he had chosen to leave her.
“Hurt your pride, perhaps, but the pain in your heart would have been the same.”
That only made that pride rear its head. She was thinking that it was better to be alone than to risk hurting herself again.
“No,” I said, my heart breaking for her. “It is not better.”
But it was like she could not hear me anymore. She turned away, and nothing more I said got through to her.
She cancelled a date with Oliver this evening, and tomorrow she will be back at the exhibit to meet with board members and executives from important museums around the city, so she will not see him until Monday. I worry what damage the time will do, what the line of thought she has been following will tell her to do. I worry that I will not be able to get her to listen to me, that her pride will continue to keep me out. But I will not give up. I cannot.