I spent much of the day today with Freya, just enjoying her company. I still find it difficult to believe that this is where I am. When I first met her, I had one wing and no rank, no experience, nothing to show for myself. Now I am here, with much in my past and even more in my future.
From what Lubos tells me, Freya is the same. Her boss is looking at her for a promotion, and she has also begun to work with a local non-profit organization, volunteering on Thursday evenings and Saturday mornings with women who have been abused or who need financial help. She enjoys the work, and it certainly suits her.
She is still as much of a butterfly as she ever was, one night going out to a movie with a friend, another meeting a group for drinks, another taking her mother out to dinner. Despite this, there is no special man who has caught her eye—she is keeping herself back for now, wary of attaching to anyone so soon after the end of her relationship with Peter. I think this is wise, and yet I am glad that the hurt did not diminish her blaze as it might have done.
She does not remember precisely what happened the night that Peter came. I did not really think that she would, of course—humans are very good at explaining things away. An adrenaline rush, she thought, or some subconscious wariness that made her watch him closer than even she realized. She does not remember hearing my voice, although I know she did.
I am glad that she does not remember, I am. That would have caused many problems. But a small part of me also wishes that she had known I was there for her.
It does not matter. I was, and I am here for her now.
My plan is to take my time with Freya, get to know her situation a bit better, before I begin to introduce a new partner to her. I love all of my charges, of course, but Freya is special. More than anything, I want to see her happy.