Some charges are easier to come to know than others. I felt that I knew Freya, for example, before the end of my second encounter with her, but it took me months to even see the good in Shannon. Sometimes, however, all it takes is one very telling conversation to give me the key.
I was with Hannah this evening, intending only to check in on her and give her some encouragement before moving on, when she received a phone call. The tension that rose in her aura made me stay as she answered the phone.
“Hello, Daddy,” she said.
The voice on the other end was brisk and cool. “Hey. Listen, I need to ask you about next month. Your brother says he wants to throw a party, but I’m not going to have it in my house.”
“Well, he’s twenty-one, Dad,” Hannah said, her smile wry. “Not only can he have a party if he wants to, he’s legally allowed to have alcohol.”
“I’m not having a bunch of stupid kids with no tolerance partying with alcohol in my house,” her father repeated. “So I wanted you to ask if you could check with your mother and see if she minds having it at her place. It’s a bigger house anyway.”
“With more breakables,” Hannah pointed out. “I’ll ask her, though. I bet she won’t mind too much.” To herself she was thinking that it was likely her brother had already asked her mother to host his party, but she wasn’t about to say that to her father. Because she did not want to correct him, or because she was afraid to? I didn’t see any fear in her aura, but there was a reserve there that she does not usually have.
“Good. Tell her I’ll take her out to dinner that night if she wants me to.” He paused, then laughed abruptly. “No, she’ll think that’s a punishment, not a reward. Tell her I’ll give her the cherry-wood armoire she loves so much.”
“Make sure not to give it to her until after the party, or someone will puke in it.”
They both laughed. So, I thought, she has a good enough relationship with him that they can laugh together. Even so…
“How are things?” he asked after a moment. “You on call tonight?”
“Yes, but I got a text from John a while ago, so it must not be very busy there.”
“Hmm. The hell is he doing texting from the hospital? Lombard isn’t keeping you busy enough. I’ll have to have a word with him.”
“Please don’t,” Hannah said, rolling her eyes. “The last time you ‘had a word’, he almost had an anxiety attack. He was worried you were going to talk to the medical director and get him transferred.”
“I would never do such a thing. I’m not going to have anyone say that my daughter can’t make it on her own.”
“What’s the opposite of nepotism?” Hannah murmured, sinking down into a chair. The words make it on her own struck a painful chord in her, and I thought I understood a bit.
“Hannah, you know I hate it when people mumble.”
“It’s nothing, Dad. I was just saying no one could ever accuse you of nepotism.”
“Damn right.” He was quiet for a moment. “You don’t need my help, Hannah, you never did. You’re smarter than I ever was and you are going to be more successful even than I was.” Another stiff silence, although I’m not certain he felt the tension at all. “But you’re not going to get there without a lot of hard work. So you get back to it, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy. Talk to you soon.”
He hung up without saying goodbye. Hannah lowered her phone and stared at it, and I stared down at her.
Suddenly much about her makes sense. Her drive, her reserve, her pessimism—I think all of it can be traced back to this cold, demanding man who nevertheless stirs compassion and rueful longing in her heart. She wants to please him, even though she knows he will not give her what she wants from him.
I lowered myself to sit next to her and closed her in my wings. “Never doubt for a moment,” I whispered to her, “that you are loved.”
It only lifted her spirits for a moment, but then, she does not know me yet. Soon enough, she will feel the warmth of my presence and know that she is not alone.