How strange it is to look after a pair who seem so perfectly happy, knowing that any moment that happiness could be ruined! How strange that so small a thing as a thought, a feeling, could destroy two lives!
Yesterday, Brooke arrived with her team in Philadelphia, the latest city in their tour, which is coming close to its end. This morning, Morgan got onto a train and sat chewing her nails for the whole journey, brimming with excitement. Brooke got to the train station an hour early and was in a similar state, waiting with a bouquet of flowers in her hands and watching the electric signs with bright eyes.
It was so beautiful, to see the moment that their eyes met, to see the way Morgan dropped her bags to run into Brooke’s arms, to feel the sighs all around as they kissed. They did not notice the watching eyes, though; to them it was as if they were the only people in the world.
And yet in the back of my mind there was something troubling me. Even Brooke has all but forgotten it now, but I could not. I wondered, could so small a temptation really have the power to spoil such a love?
I let them be for some time, but being worried, I returned this afternoon to check on them. They were together in Brooke’s small bed, arms twined around one another, beginning to wonder about dinner. They were so blissful that for a moment I felt entirely reassured, and I nearly left again.
“So how’s everyone on the team?” Morgan asked, kissing Brooke’s shoulder.
Even tangled as they were, she did not feel Brooke tense, but I did. Brooke turned her face just slightly away from Morgan as she answered. “Everyone’s good.” She laughed a little. “Some of them have been more worried about us than I have. You should hear Jon sometimes—‘did you call Morgan last night? What’s she up to?’”
“I’ll have to remember to thank him for making sure you didn’t forget me,” Morgan teased.
Brooke rolled over to touch her forehead to Morgan’s. “As if that is likely.”
They kissed, and I thought I might have to leave them, but I was uneasy, and Morgan was not finished with this line of thinking. She broke away from Brooke for a moment to frown at the ceiling. “Oh, and that girl who said she’d cover for you today so we could have a long weekend. What’s her name?”
Brooke dropped her head onto Morgan’s shoulder. “Erin,” she said, and the guilt rolled through her. The thing is, I am not sure whether that guilt was for not telling Morgan what passed between herself and Erin, or for the knowledge of how much it would have cost Erin to do this for them.
“Yeah, that’s it.” Morgan looked at Brooke. “I am going to get to meet them at some point, right?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Brooke said with forced lightness. “I thought I might just keep you in this bed the whole weekend.”
And she rolled Morgan over, to Morgan’s high-pitched delight. I left them again, a bit reassured, but still not entirely at ease.
Can this kind of thing truly fade away entirely? Or will it remain, a small shadow between them? Can any love that keeps secrets survive, or will it slowly eat away at the foundation I have built between them? Am I making too much of this? But I can see that it still weighs on Brooke’s heart and mind. Until she sets it aside, neither can I. I only wish I knew what to do about it.